My Favorite Drummer Jokes

Being a drummer, I have heard a lot of drummer jokes, and many of them have been directed at me.  

Here is a collection of some of my favorite ones:

One Liners

What did the drummer say to the band leader?
Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?

How do you get a drummer off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza

Did you hear about the drummer who finished high school?
Ya, me neither

Why do guitar players hang drum sticks from their rearview mirror?
So they can park in handicapped spaces

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer

What’s the difference between a drummer and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four

Why is a drummer never late?
Because he’s always rushing

How do you get a million dollars?
Start off with 2 million and then become a drummer

A sheep, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff. What sound do they make?

What do you call a drummer with a business card?
An optimist 

What Alexa says if you ask for a drum joke

Why did the Beatles stop inviting Ringo to Thanksgiving?
He wouldn’t share the drum sticks…also they’re British

Here is a funny article about drum shields from the Babylonbee, it is a satire news website aimed at poking fun at the church community:

Submit a Drummer joke

If I like it I will add it to the bunch and give you a credit

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Article by:

Mike Levitsky

Mike Levitsky

Mike is a Husband, Father, Pastor, and Musician. He is the owner, contributor, and editor of